When angered, remember CALM

When we are angered or provoked by a situation or a crisis, it is important to remain CALM – and in this case CALM is an acronym.

We all have crises in or lives.  Your crisis may be that you feel betrayed by a friend or co-worker, you just broke up with a lover or a long-time friendship has ended.  Your crisis may be that you just lost the promotion you felt you had bagged, you lost your job, or didn’t get the job you wanted.  Maybe it is more catastrophic like your car has given out and you cannot afford to replace it or even repair it, or your house burnt down in a fire. Regardless of your crisis, we all experience extreme emotions at first.

For some crisis our first reaction may be to be very upset, angry or even mad.  Other crises we just want to cry or worse.  However, I you remember the word CALM (Count, Awareness, Let it go, Move Forward) you will not only survive any crisis, you may come out the other side a better person.

COUNT

You have probably heard the ole adage, count to ten before reacting in anger.  As most of you know, that is a lot easier said than done! 

Of the 4 words that make up CALM, count is probably the one I struggle with the most and I have for almost all my life.

There have been countless times I have been in a situation that I either caused or existed by no fault of my own.  I have been called into meetings where I was called on the carpet for one of my actions or decisions. 

I have faced a crisis in my life that saying I reacted poorly at a pivotal moment would be an understatement.

In my past, when I faced a crisis, I have initially reacted with anger.  I have yelled, screamed, cussed, use inappropriate hand gestures, etc. to express my displeasure with the person and/or the situation.

The only thing I ever accomplish by responding the crisis with anger and outburst was to make the situation either worse or unresolvable in my favor.

I have learned, through the school of hard knocks, if I would just stop and silently court to 10 before reacting in a crisis, I might not be able to completely resolve it at that moment, but I can start to deescalate the situation.

AWARENESS

It is always important to be aware of where you are at, what is going on around you and who I around you at every moment of your life.  However, it is 100 times more important during your initial reaction to a crisis.

For me, when I face a crisis (in particular a confrontation with another person) I develop tunnel vision.  All I see is the problem, and the person who I feel is attacking or ambushing me.  I often forget that there may be others around to witness my reaction.

Almost always there are other eyes and ears witnessing how you react to a crisis such as friends, lovers, co-workers, your children, etc.  All these people’s opinion of you will be greatly impacted by how you react to a crisis.  Because of this, ALWAYS be aware of your environment and who is around you.

LET IT GO

If you can remember that nothing, except death, is permeant including the crisis you are facing at that moment, then you can easily let go of any anger or hostility you feel at the moment the crisis hits you.

Granted.  You will still have to face the crisis, confront it, deal with it and hopefully resolve it in a timely manner, but if you let it go instead of holding onto the problem and reliving it in your mind, you will be more likely to quickly resolve the problem.

MOVE FORWARD

Regardless if you are the start of the crisis, halfway through it, near the end or it is completed, keep moving forward. 

Do not let the crisis, while it is occurring or even afterwards, to consume you.  If you do, then you are holding yourself back from the greatness you deserve in your life.

Instead, just do what they said back in the 1970’s keep on keeping on and always move forward.

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