The hidden blessing of being disabled while dating.

The dating scene is hard for anyone who is searching for long lasting love.  When you put yourself out there you feel vulnerable as you search for your soulmate.  You want to be everything that your dream date is searching for.  When you first talk with your dream girl you want to show off your best qualities and hide anything that might give her cause to reject you.  Hiding the fact that you still sleep with a nightlight is easy, but you can’t hide a physical disability – like a white cane or a wheelchair.  But did you know that disability you cannot hide is a blessing in disguise?

The invisible disability becomes visible to the world.

If you had seen me in public before the age of thirty, unless you saw me reading a book or a piece of paper, you probably would never had known that I was legally blind since birth.

I had always been self-conscious about my vision limitations, so I rarely told anyone that my vision, at best was 20/200 in my left eye and 20/300 in my right eye.  I never told anyone that I had never been able to read out of my right eye.

About a year before I began dating, it had become apparent to me that my vision was changing.  I was growing frustrated that when I walked into a fast food restaurant and asked the kid behind the counter “How much is your cheeseburger meal?” he would point up at the menu and say, “the prices are up there” and I couldn’t read them.

After some encouragement from a blind couple who were my friends, I decided for my own safety and to get the help I needed when I asked for it, it was time for me to begin using a white cane.

When I began my search for my soulmate, I could not hide my disability. 

When I first went out “Searching for love” with a white cane in my hand, I survived many rejections from girls who I were interested in dating,

Some girls were nice about turning me down while others were not.

What I found most offensive was when a girl who was close to my age, talked to me in the same tone that a person would talk to a pre-school aged child.  I hated that more than anything else.  I would have just preferred a blunt “I’m not interested” than being patronized.

Waiting for a girl like you

After searching and dating for a few years, I finally found Kimberly.

Kimberly saw past my disability and saw me for who I was.  She also saw the potential I had to do great things in my life and after two years of dating, I proposed to her and she said “yes”.

The blessing I didn’t see when I was dating but I can see now

During our engagement, I survived an ischemic stroke to my spinal cord.  The stroke/spinal cord injury robbed me of my ability to run, walk, stand, feed myself, dress myself, turn myself in my own bed or even control my bladder.  Such a devastating and life changing event can destroy a young relationship.  Fortunately, God had used my white cane and my vision disability to help filter out any girl who might not “stand by me” during my darkest hour.

Never be ashamed of your disability.  God put in your life for a reason.  If someone cannot accept you with your disability, that that person wasn’t meant to be a part of your life.