If you want to overcome any challenge, obstacle, adversity, limitation or setback to #DefineYourself and succeed in life, the first thing you must have is self-respect. Often, that is easier said than done.
Although I do not speak about it in my free ebook, 10 Steps to DefineYourself, it is imperative you respect yourself before anything else in life.
Why? Because if you do not respect yourself you more than likely you will not like yourself. If you do not like yourself, then how can you expect people to like you and more than likely you will be perceived as an unlikeable person.
What is self-respect?
Self-respect is defined as pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity.
For years I struggled with finding respect for myself because I was going about it all wrong.
The first thing I got wrong was I believed I could have (and needed) self-respect before self-confidence when you first need self-confidence before you can look for self-respect.
I also felt that I had to have self-respect before I could even begin to act with honor and treat others with dignity – again I was wrong.
The real 5 ingredients for self-respect
There are five ingredients that every person needs to find within themselves that will make up a healthy serving of self-respect.
- Self-confidence – having confidence in your abilities or any other aspect of who you are can be difficult – especially if you have sustained damage from being bullied and/or verbally abused. Just keep pushing onward, setting goals and no matter how big or small an achievement is, pat yourself on your back for every success in your life.
- Honor – There are many definitions of honor: high respect; great esteem, adherence to what is right or to a conventional standard of conduct, regard with great respect, and fulfill (an obligation) or keep (an agreement). When it comes to honor being a part of self-respect, all the definitions apply, and you should start to honor yourself and acting with honor starting now!
- Dignity – if you are struggling with honor towards yourself, then you may wish to start with dignity: a sense of pride in oneself and being worthy of honor. Start treating yourself with dignity because you deserve it.
- Liking yourself – If you do not like yourself you will not be able to have self-respect.
- Respect from others – The best way to develop or ramp up your self-respect is to receive respect from others. When it comes to self-respect you must respect others to get them to respect you. Take the first four ingredients listed and start liking people, showing confidence in others, honoring others for the abilities and achievements, treat others with honor and dignity and it will come back to grow your own self-confidence.
The 5 ingredients should not be acquired in any particular order, nor should you just work on one at a time. They should all be worked on simultaneously. As the quantity of each ingredient increases within you, it will increase the other ingredients while building self-respect for yourself.
True self-respect does not happen overnight. It can take months or even years for some people, sadly the more damaged a person is, the longer it can take to find self-resect. Do not despair, I believe that if you seek out the 5 ingredients listed above and follow the 10 Steps to DefineYourself in my free ebook, you will either find or increase your own self-respect.