We all have said things like: “If I get this job then things will be better for us,” “I think I can do the job,” “someday I will be debt free,” “maybe I will start dating again” and “It might be possible I can get an A on my final exam.”
When we use words and phrases like “if”, “I think”, “someday”, “maybe” and “it might be possible” I believe we are limiting our potential for success in any endeavor.
Regardless if we are saying it to others or just to ourselves, when we say if”, “I think”, “someday”, “maybe” and “it might be possible” we are subconsciously placing into our minds our doubt or fear that what follows those words or phrases is either out of our reach or just plain impossible – a pipe dream.
I believe that what we think is what we will become. When we fill our minds with fears and doubts, we are more likely to fail than succeed – not only in what followed the if, I think, someday, maybe, it might be possible – but, in any goal, or ambition we have in life.
When we start any sentence to our self or to others that follows by a goal, a hope or a dream with if, I think, someday, maybe, it might be possible we are setting the stage for us to justify our failure at a later date. In other words, we are predicting our failure before we even give ourselves a chance to succeed.
Let’s say I said to you, “If I get this job then things will be better for us” and six months later nothing had changed for me and my family. You might ask me, “What happened to that job you were trying to get?” I could remind you that I said, “if” with confidence that I did not deceive you, myself nor did I let either of us down by disappointing you or me when I missed achieving the goal of a better job with better pay.
Words and phrases such as with if, I think, someday, maybe, it might be possible not only give us a free pass to give less than our best effort to succeed. They also cushion the blow when we fall short of our goal or fail completely.
The best way to state our hopes, dreams and goals in life:
Instead of saying “If I get this job then things will be better for us”. Try saying “When I get this job then things will be better for us”.
Instead of saying “I think I can do the job”. Try saying either “I believe I can do this job”, “I have confidence I can do this job”, “I am confident I can do this job” or “I know I can do this job!”
Instead of saying “someday I will be debt free.” Set a deadline and say, “In one year, I will be debt free.” Of course, make a budget on how long it will take you to pay off your bills.
Instead of saying “maybe I will start dating again” try saying “I will start dating!”
Instead of saying “It might be possible I can get an A on my final exam”. Try saying “I will get an A on my final exam” and the start studying!
There are no guarantees in life….
I can not guarantee that you will archive all your goals if you simply state them with a positive attitude and with confidence. I can tell you that it has been my personal experience that when I state my goals to myself and others, using words that are either positive or demonstrate confidence in my abilities, I have had a higher success rate than when I use “wishy-washy” words and phrases such as if, I think, someday, maybe, it might be possible.